‘He didn’t show up later that night even though he was supposed to hang out with me and my sister. I told him it’s none of my business what he does at someone else’s place, but when he said that I felt sick to my stomach and couldn’t stop thinking about it. When he was leaving for some reason he casually said, “and you’ll be okay if I sleep with him as long as I do at his place and not ours, right?” Or something like that. (I was in an FWB situation with a girl in the early days of me and Alex living together, but I broke it off after a few months and I haven’t done anything with anyone since.) I agreed with him and told him I was just having a bad day and I don’t care who he sleeps with, but he looked more upset and told me he’s going to a friend’s place to cool off. For some reason that pissed him off more and he said I can’t complain since I used to bring my fuckbuddy over and he was forced to see me being affectionate with her sometimes. I didn’t know what to say, but then he asked if I had a problem with him sleeping with other guys. When the guy left, Alex asked me why I was being an asshole.
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The other day I came home right when some guy was about to leave, and the guy tried to be polite to me but I ended up being rude to him (don’t remember what I said, but it was really obvious I was pissed). ‘Alex has started to notice and it’s affecting our friendship. And these are just guys he fools around with, I don’t know what I’d do if he ends up getting an actual boyfriend. It makes me really uncomfortable and grossed out. After that, every time he has a guy over (not that often, but every once in a while) I just start feeling like shit and wishing that guy would leave, and I can’t stop thinking about what these guys might have done to him even though I don’t want to imagine that. I thought maybe they just caught me by surprise and that’s why I reacted so strongly, but it turned out it wasn’t a one-time thing. ‘I felt bad for being as disgusted as I was, since there’s NO good reason for me to have a reaction like that. Alex was embarrassed (he didn’t think I’d be back for a while), but I told him it was okay since I was embarrassed too.
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I don’t know how to describe what it was like to see that, except that for a moment I felt so bad I thought I was going to throw up. ‘I don’t know when it started but one time that really sticks out to me is when I came home and saw him and some guy making out on the couch. He’s usually discreet enough about it that I don’t see/hear anything I wouldn’t want to see/hear from anyone else, but for some reason I’ve started feeling weird if I even see him with other guys. At the start I thought I was okay with it, since it’s really not my business who he sleeps with. ‘The problems started because of this: Alex brings guys home sometimes. I’m straight and he knows that, but I don’t feel threatened by him flirting with me and he says most straight guys do. At some point we became friendly enough with each other that we could even joke about it, as in, sometimes he’ll pretend to flirt with me and I’ll pretend to flirt back. ‘”Alex” has been my roommate for one year, and I pretty much knew upfront about him being gay. I had a gay friend in high school and we made it through some tough times together, I never felt weird about him dating a guy. Posting on Reddit, he said: ‘First things first, let me say that I’ve never thought of myself as being discriminatory before. But then when Alex started to bring guys home…he started getting annoyed, resentful, disgusted.
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When Alex told Mike he was gay, he was absolutely fine with it. This straight guy, who we’ll call Mike, has been roommates with Alex for a year. We’re pretty sure this story is pretty much better than any romantic comedy, but you be the judge!